Gone

We had to bury my mother today. On her birthday. 

It's always hard to lose your mother to death. But what makes it even harder is that Mom suffered and writhed in pain the last two days of her life... because she couldn't receive the medical attention she needed... because the understaffed medical team was overwhelmed with unvaccinated COVID people.

Mom was vaccinated and boostered and had been extremely cautious about protecting herself. She knew that the last place she wanted to be right now was in the hospital. She reminded us all to be careful about that. But she had to go because of severe abdominal pain. 

Mom was put in the ER hallway. Protocol testing for COVID proved negative. She begged for medication for relief from her pain, but was told they couldn't do anything until they ran some tests... which took hours upon hours. I couldn't be with her until they had an ER room available. She was alone there in the hallway. Alone. In severe pain.

It will forever be etched in my memory, when she was finally taken to an ER room and I was allowed to go in... watching Mom suffer and hearing her pleading with God to take away the pain, pleading with the nurses to hurry and bring pain medication, to bring stronger pain medication.... I went to the nurses' station for help when they didn't/couldn't come. But I was reprimanded for being out in the hallway that they said was infested with COVID. I was told to go back to Mom's room and stay there. I know the nurse meant well... to get me out of harm's way and to keep Mom out of COVID's reach. 

So while Mom waited for relief and treatment for the excruciating diverticulitis pain, sepsis spread throughout her body while the unvaccinated COVID patients received the attention. 

I don't blame those nurses who were working as best they could. They were overwhelmed with too many people to care for. The nursing staff was shorthanded, for so many other nurses had deemed their services worth more money, and so had gone to where they could plump their purses... instead of helping their own hometown folks. There aren't many Clara Barton's around today. Yet there are still some like her with us, and for them we are thankful. Some of them were in the ER, some were in the ICU. But they could only do what they could physically manage to do. 

Yes, I am angered... by the unvaccinated COVID patients who took medical help away from my mother. And disturbed about the nurses who left for more green in greener grass... and abandoned her.

Yet I know that God did not abandon her. He released her from the pain when others could not. She is now with Him and my dad. For God's mercy and abundant grace I am grateful.

A Book to Ponder During Lent

If you're looking for a book on Jesus Christ to read during Lent, I highly recommend The Life & Teaching of Jesus Christ by James S. Stewart. I came across Stewart's book when I was looking for such a one to read during Advent. I found his writing to be engaging, scholarly, and filled with personal passion for knowing his beloved Savior. 

Several years ago I had determined to know more about my Redeemer and so began to study Him in more depth in the Scriptures as well as through the insights and study of authors who have a supreme regard for Him. Stewart's book was a slow but delightful read in this regard. Slow because his insights drew me to ponder and consider Jesus Christ in ways I had not previously. I needed to savor the narrative.

James S. Stewart was a Scottish preacher, born in Dundee in 1896 and was viewed by some as the greatest preacher of the twentieth century. He was also Chair of New Testament Language, Literature, and Theology at New College, Edinburgh University and chaplain to King George V and later to Queen Elizabeth. He died in 1990. 

As one biographical author has commented, "In summary, Stewart fused scholarship and evangelism in a style and delivery that was bold, stirring, positive, lyrical, joyous and often exhilarating." I haven't heard Stewart preach, but I found this to be true in his writing of The Life & Teaching of Jesus Christ.

The Blessing of a Smile?

One of the reasons some people give for not wearing a mask during the pandemic is that masks hide their smile. Smiles do communicate. So does not wearing a mask, though. For the most part, it communicates lack of compassion, lack of love and lack of care for those in their presence. 

It goes beyond the smile for the passersby, those who vanish in a moment and aren't given a second thought. In a church gathering you'd expect love to abound, a lot of thought given for one another's well-being. After all, Jesus did say that outsiders would know us by our love for one another. Masking is love in action. 

Some are leaving their church because they no longer feel loved and cared for and have found a church where the protocols are no less than at their local grocery store. Some are wanting to be with their church family but feel marginalized because of the priority given to non-maskers. 

The Bible warns about preferential treatment, for if a non-masker comes into the assembly and is directed toward the choicest seats, but one who is vulnerable and wearing a mask comes in and is told to go sit away in the corner if they don't feel comfortable around the non-masker, have there not distinctions been made among yourselves? (James 2:1-4) This is not the way of a loving church family. 

We who love to learn the ways of Jesus as we gather need to be doers of the Word that we hear, more sincere and communicative with our actions that make known our love for one another. We're a somewhat cerebral group. We get it. But it's rather telling when some of us feel more cared for by our local Publix than our local church.

As for myself, I'd rather receive the blessing of the mask than the hypocritical smile.

"By this all people will know that you are My disciple: if you have love for one another." - Jesus, John 13:35

Image via Pixabay

Finding Jesus

I had heard about Nabeel Qureshi's book Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus shortly after his death in 2017. People were talking about how untimely his death seemed to be because his testimony of coming to faith in Jesus Christ was so remarkable and was a lamp out of Islam for fellow Muslims. We received the book as a gift, and so I recently pulled it off the shelf to read after the new year. It's a book from the heart and pen of this former devout Muslim who sought to verify his faith in Islam, yet found his faith in Christianity. 

The book begins as Nabeel describes his upbringing in the Islam faith as one of devoted familial love as well as love and care for others in their faith, particularly those in their local mosque. I found this section of the book quite helpful as it gave me an understanding of the Muslim mindset. 

As Nabeel continues to tell his story, we're introduced to a Christian classmate, David Wood, who became Nabeel's college friend--a friendship that lasted throughout the remainder of Nabeel's short life. God used this relationship as the vehicle to challenge Qureshi's thinking about Islam and Christianity. Because Nabeel was a truth seeker, he sought answers for the questions David was asking. In his search he found the undeniable truth about Muhammed the prophet and the undeniable truth about Jesus the Christ. To embrace Jesus, however, meant to be disowned by his family and Muslim community, a difficult choice that Qureshi wrestled with for many months. 

The book impacted me in a couple of ways. First, as I mentioned, it gave me an understanding of how a Muslim thinks about Muhammed and Allah. Another was understanding that God sometimes speaks to them through visions and dreams to draw them to Himself, which seems to be different than how He draws the Western heart and mind. 

A further aspect of the book is that his friend David was God's agent for reaching into the heart and mind of Nabeel Qureshi for the sake of his soul. We never know when God wants to work through us for the sake of another. Nabeel died from stomach cancer when he was 34, about the same age as Jesus at His death. While God allowed death to take Nabeel, his writing about his encounter with Christianity continues to lead other Muslims to Jesus Christ and saving faith. To God be the glory.

Caring for the Weak and Vulnerable

I learned today of a friend's death from complications of COVID. It is indiscriminate in its victims. It does most of its damage to the vulnerable and ravages the weak. Even those who feel invincible can find themselves in its grip. It has made us more cautious. More aware of our frailties. More aware of our mortality. Most have realized its potential and altered their ways accordingly. 

Most of us will make it through to the other side of this pandemic. Many have not. As of today, two million globally have not. For their families, we weep. For Kathi's family, I weep.

We urge you, brethren, 

admonish the unruly, 

encourage the fainthearted, 

HELP THE WEAK,

be patient with everyone.

- 1 Thessalonians 5:14 -

Peace of Mind

 As we were reminded this morning by one of our pastors:

You keep him in perfect peace 

whose mind is stayed on you,

because he trusts in you.

Trust in the LORD forever,

for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock.

Isaiah 26:3-4

Almost Over

The calendar says the year is almost over.  While the challenges of 2020 will linger for some months to come, it's always good to pause at the end and reflect on the passing of its days. Some families have suffered deeply and have had their lives forever changed. 2021 will be a year of adjusting to life in the absence of someone they love. My own father passed away in March as the pandemic was in its infancy. 

COVID-19 has had no pity, yet it has served to stir compassion for our fellow travelers. We have felt one another's pain and sorrow as most of us have not experienced such level of empathy before. I hope our concern for others doesn't dwindle when COVID is fought back with the vaccine and, hopefully, forever retreats. I know that I will need to be diligent about that. Differing viewpoints on the pandemic itself has caused some strained relationships. I have felt cared for by those who have shown their love by masking and social distancing; not so much from those who had a point to prove otherwise.  Loving others compassionately is not a natural trait for any of us. But it is God's way, and He has commanded us to love others and to seek their best interests. 

Ethnic struggles have exposed hearts this year. Such struggles have been around since Babel and can be expected to continue until the Lord's return. While some of the encounters have been bad people doing bad things to good and bad people, there have been some entities that have preyed upon situations to make them into something unintended. Ethnic and cultural differences are accentuated and the divide intensified. Our only hope is to be united at the foot of the cross. With no entitlements, only grace. 

The political atmosphere has been intense this year as well. From my personal perspective, it's been a year of battling to keep our land from merciless killing of the unborn, rampant immorality, and sexual perversion that destroys all that it touches. We are on the path of implosion and self-destruction. Only God's Word will enlighten us to the spiritual warfare around us. Too few recognize it. Oh, Yahweh, please open our eyes that we may see! 

While the challenges of 2020 have been felt by all in one way or another, the blessings, however, have come to each of us personally in different ways. While many have grappled with anxiety and depression for these nine months of pandemic, many of us have felt peace in the midst of much chaos. Many of us have a heightened awareness for the care and concern of others. Most of us have more gratitude for healthcare workers and first responders and the knowledge God has allowed the medical profession to acquire. Many parents have rediscovered the joy of being with their children. Some children have learned to be good stewards of their time without the out-of-the-home scheduling that typically tethers them. Many of us have probably saved some money that we might have typically spent on impulse buying. We can look forward to 2021 to spending or investing it on something more worthwhile.

2020 will be a year we'll all remember. Our children will tell their children and grandchildren how it was for them. And so the cycle goes. As we recount 2020, let us also recount God's mercy and goodness--one generation telling the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord. 

May our eyes be open to His marvelous work in 2021! May we sense His abundant blessings.

If the Self is the Source

I recently listened to a podcast with Allie Beth Stuckey and saw that she's recently written a book, "You're Not Enough (And That's Okay): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love." I thought it would be a helpful read since I'm teaching a series on "Conforming to His Image in A Self-Imaged World," so I ordered the book, received it today, and settled in for a comfy read this evening.

Not very far in, she asks the question--"Is your quest to love yourself more actually making yourself miserable?" She gives this answer:

"The self can't be both our problem and our solution. If the self is the source of our depression or despair or insecurity or fear, it can't also be the source of our ultimate fulfillment. That means loving ourselves more doesn't satiate us. We need something else--something bigger. Simply, we need Jesus.

"There's a reason Jesus describes himself as Living Water and Bread of Life: he satisfies. The searching for peace and for purpose stops in him alone. He created us: therefore only he can tell us who we are and why we're here."

In her book Allie discusses 5 myths of self-love:

• You are Enough
• You Determine Your Truth
• You're Perfect the Way You Are
• You're Entitled to Your Dreams
• You Can't Love Others Until You Love Yourself

The inside cover states, "This book isn't about battling your not-enoughness. It's about embracing it." It looks like this book may be filled with some good biblical counsel! 

We do need to see ourselves as God sees us and love ourselves correctly. But not in a self-love sort of way. There is a prerequisite. As Jesus said, we must first love God with all our heart, all our soul, all our strength, and all our mind (Luke 10:27). And then we're able to understand who we are in Christ and love who we are in Him.

Hoping to finish Allie's book before the weekend. And hoping it's as promising a read as it appears.

Update: Finished the book and it's one that especially young women would find encouraging  and beneficial. Allie relates to her own personal struggles as a college student, new wife and mother in her search for true identity.

Another book that is filled with biblical counsel is Jim Berg's book, God is More Than Enough. I read that one years ago, and God used it mightily in my life. 

Painting--Bessie Potter at Her Dressing Table 
 Robert William Vonnoh, 1858-1933 
Public Domain, Wiki Gallery

While the Pews Are Empty This Spring

I had hoped we had beaten the virus back enough to be able to roam at will, but it appears that is not the case. While some restrictions were rolled back in her address today, our Governor is keeping the restriction on gatherings of more than 10 at least until May 15, which affects our church gatherings as well.

This is disappointing, but we can manage. I don't see this as a matter of religious freedom as some are painting it, but rather submitting to our governmental authorities as they promote good (citizen health) and refrain evil (Covid-19). We are not being denied our freedom to worship. We currently do it in alternative ways, although we are truly missing our church families and worshiping together. We are not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, just waiting out Covid-19. Yet, this is doing us good as well, for absence is making my heart grow fonder. 

It will also do us good to return to work and to our favorite retail stores and shops, which we've been give the go-ahead to do, even while we must continue to wear the face masks (I miss the smiles they hide). Perhaps this is making us all more appreciative and grateful for what we've more or less taken for granted (and maybe the tips at the restaurants and salons will be bigger when they are allowed to open later). I'm reminded of our family's two-year temporary transfer to Venezuela. When asked how long we were there, My Beloved replies, "two years"; I reply "too long". The time was good for us but difficult, and definitely not something I'd want to do again. I'm glad that's in the past and not in the present.

Perhaps there has been too much reliance on church services to meet our worship need. Before the Covid-19, did our worship take place only at the church worship service? Is worship relegated now to our live-streaming experience at home? Worship is not a time and place; it is to permeate our whole being and is an expression of our faith in Jesus Christ. We worship God when we love Him with all our heart, our soul, our mind, our strength. Surely, this can take place wherever we may be. While Scripture also calls us to worship corporately, we don't need a worship leader in order to worship.

But perhaps the more pointed issue at stake is the gathering of ourselves together for fellowship, to be blessed by one another, to encourage and admonish one another, to bear one another's burdens, to serve one another, accept one another, disciple one another, and the many more one-anothers of the Bible. While it certainly is easier and more effective as we gather, this can be done in the circumstances in which we currently find ourselves. We have to think about it a little more strategically, though.

Yet, I'm wondering if the core issue in wanting to get back together is not what we can do for one another, but what others can do for us. I'm not denying that it is extremely helpful to gather together, I'm simply suggesting that while the pews are empty, we examine ourselves and honestly ask what we're really missing when we cannot gather. And then, take action on that when we do come together once again. It will truly be interesting to see how we have changed and phileo love has increased.

Image via Pixabay

The Pilgrim's Progress

The Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan has been in continuous print since its publication in 1678 and has been translated into more than 200 languages. I've read it more than once, but to be honest, I found it difficult to follow the entrance and exits of the various characters and to grasp their significance. It perplexed me as to why it continued to be so popular around the world, except for the possibility that it had been propelled by God to be used to further the gospel.

Over the weekend, however, My Beloved and I watched a dramatization of Pilgrim's Progress on Amazon Prime, and the simple manner in which the way of salvation was portrayed was quite compelling. (Perhaps I had just needed more visual cues to help me understand.) While the publication date for the movie was 2006, the cinematography and acting were noticeably backseat to the story that was being told. Which, actually, may have been a good thing since it drew me into the storyline and not the scenery. The movie is also available on YouTube.

Amazon Prime also has a documentary on John Bunyan that we've enjoyed watching: John Bunyan, The Journey of a Pilgrim.

I recommend both--a good way to spend one of these Covid-19 evenings.