Push Me, Pull Me

We’ve been taking turns In our small group giving our testimonies. This week was my turn, and as I’ve been reflecting on my life, God’s providence has been evident. It’s always clearer to us looking backward, isn’t it? Many of the life-altering changes in my life have been brought about by God pulling me forward or pushing me out. 

My early-in-life plan was a career of teaching, which I did for several years to my delight. Then a situation happened at the private school where I was teaching that I felt that I could not support, and so God was using that to push me out. It was that change that brought about our decision to begin our family, which opened a new dimension to life that I had never even imagined. And we began to educate/train/disciple our girls at home.

When our daughters were 4 and 7, I got pulled in to living in Venezuela. God used those years to work in my heart and mind in ways that forever changed me. When asked how long we were there, My Beloved says two years, and I say too long. They were difficult years, but years that brought tremendous spiritual growth for both of us.

After being back home for a year and a half, God pulled us into another temporary transfer to Houston, hundreds of miles away where we knew no one. This experience was another life-changer. We had been homeschooling for several years, but knew no one else who was doing it back in the 80s. We got involved in a church with many homeschooling families in Houston, some who were high schoolers, which at that time was a new way of thinking about education. It opened our eyes to what could lie ahead for our family. The assignment was over too soon, and we had to return home. Pushed out by God once again. We did not want to leave, but we had no idea what He had planned for us once we got back home. A new way of life opened to us that I could have lived in forever. Having experienced the blessings of knowing other families who were training their children as we were, we searched and found some in our own hometown. At our first meeting we had 12 families. We began a local support group and was on the founding state Christian organization. When we finished our journey, we had over 200 families in the local group. And to think that those years began when God pushed us out a place we didn't want to leave.

I went to graduate school after our girls were graduated from homeschooling, then returned to the classroom for a few years. But it was interfering with higher priorities in my life, and God used those priorities to pull me back home. The next few years were arid in many ways, and God used those feelings of loneliness to turn my heart to moving nearer my parents to help in their care as well as to become more familiar with my cognitively handicapped sister's care, whose care we’ll have when my parents are gone. 

That pull brought us also to a wonderful new church family that has embraced us from the very first visit. They help me keep my equilibrium. 

It is often the looking back when we see God’s Hand most clearly working good into our lives--when He has pushed and pulled and provided. He is truly our loving and faithful God. 

Image - Reading Goethes Werther, Wilhelm Amberg Vorlesung , 1870

public domain, Wikimedia Commons

Its Neglect ~ A Strange Inconsistency

Interior with Woman Teaching Child to Pray

I trust there are none here present, who profess to be followers of Christ, who do not also practice prayer in their families. We may have no positive commandment for it, but we believe that it is so much in accord with the genius and spirit of the gospel, and that it is so commended by the example of the saints, that the neglect thereof is a strange inconsistency.       

- Charles Spurgeon

Restraining Prayer, Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit v. 51 p. 327

Painting - Interior with Woman Teaching Child to Pray

Pierre-Edouard Frere, 1819-1886

public domain via Wikimedia Commons

And the Worst That Could Happen?

What's the worst that could happen? I thought about that yesterday as I put pressure on my nose after it began to bleed for no apparent reason. I was having breakfast, and drip, drip. I had had recurrent profuse nosebleeds several years ago that were difficult to stop. Had to have a blood vessel cauterized because I was about to be put on a blood thinner due to a clot. Pain doesn't usually make me cry (I realize I haven't experienced great pain, but doesn't childbirth count?!), but when the surgeon numbed inside my nose, tears trickled down my face. I hope never to have that done again.

So the nosebleed yesterday brought back memories. I'm now on a lifetime blood thinner that at present has no antidote for patient prescriptions. My hematologist said we'd probably have one within the year. But this is now and the blood is flowing. For now I'm supposed to apply pressure and hold for thirty minutes. If that doesn't work, head to ER.  

Then my mind took off into what's the worst thing that could happen? Ever done that? My conclusion was that I'd bleed to death, one drop at a time. Then what? I'd be with Jesus! What a marvelous thought! 

Sometimes reading the last chapter first is a good idea.

Image via pixabay

CCO Creative Commons

Covered. No Need to Hide

Being the first of the month, I went to Psalm 1 for devotional reading today. You might be familiar with the plan--Day 1, read Psalm 1, add 30 and read Psalm 31, add 30 and read Psalm 61, etc.. But my eye caught a note at the bottom of the page that referred to Psalm 32 that interested me, so I turned there.

It begins,
How blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.

That struck a chord in my heart. The guilt and shame of sin causes us to want to hide. From God. From others. Trying to hide is no answer. We might be able to hide from others for awhile, but soon we find our relationships fading as we back away into the darkness.

We cannot hide from God. He knows our coming and our going. And deep inside, we know He knows. And He knows the sorrow we bear from our guilt and shame. He is after us, in pursuit.

He knows we need help. He knows our sin is in need of a covering. To cover the guilt, so we will no longer be ashamed. So we will no longer want to hide. From others. From Him.

He wants relationship with us. He wants us to have relationship with others. But what about the guilt that separates us? The shame that overshadows us?

God has provided the covering. He wants us to receive the covering. That covering is His Son, Jesus Christ. He provides forgiveness for our guilt. He removes the shadow of shame that comes with it.

For those who place their faith in Jesus Christ, God sees Him as the covering for our sin and our guilt.

We need not hide. Our sin is covered. Our transgression is forgiven. And how blessed we are!

I needed to be reminded of that this morning. Maybe you, too, dear one?

Image ~ Marguerite, William-Adolphe Bouguereau, 1903

pubic domain, via WikiArt

On Worship

Gathered with our church family today for corporate worship and being reminded that...

When Man ceases to worship God,

he does not worship nothing 

but worships everything.

― G. K. Chesterton

Image via Pixabay, Gellinger

CCO Creative Commons

Considering the Conflict

Relationships inevitably must weather conflicting opinions if they are to thrive. I'm reminding myself of that after a recent stance on policy. I deferred to the other outwardly, but inwardly I was more than a little annoyed. Why was that?

Self. Both of us had the same goal, but I didn't get to reach for the goal my way. I had to stay within policy. As I've been reflecting on the conflict, I've come to understand the other person's point of view and the policy behind it. Given the situation in which one or the other opinion was to be acted upon, I need to accept that it was the other that was for the greater good.

Self is too often a formidable foe.

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interest of the others.   - Philippians 4: 1-4

Image ~ Woman at a Sunny Window, Carl Holsoe 1863-1935

public domain, Wikimedia Commons

Longing for Reversal

Continuing my study in the book of Esther and its literary theme of reversal. It's where we see most powerfully the hand of God as He reverses the consequences of the actions of the ungodly powerful people who want to destroy His own people in the Persian Empire. The providence of God can change things in a moment and alter the outcome. Most often we recognize it only in hindsight.

More often, we long to see it.

I long to see God reverse the actions of the ungodly powerful people in our own nation today who want to destroy any influence or impact those who have faith in Him might exercise. Something that began as good is being taken by the ungodly powerful and used in an attempt to annihilate godly imprint. As I see it, the MeToo effect is turning into a social colossus by the Enemy of all things good.

I long for and pray for reversal to this trial by public sentiment.

Painting ~ Her Eyes Are With Her Thoughts, Lawrence Alma-Tadema 1897

public domain, WikiArt

Inconspicuous Providence

This is the book that I've chosen to use for our study of the book of Esther in our women's Sunday School class this quarter. I've read several books in preparation for teaching the class, and Inconspicuous Providence by Bryan Gregory rose to the top of the stack as the one to use as a supplement to our group study.

While many see the Bible book of Esther as being about Esther, it's really about the providence of God and how He saves the Jews from annihilation through seeming "coincidences." In addition to commentary and application of the chapters in Esther, Gregory discusses the literary techniques used by the author (who is unknown) and gives a broad overview of its historical context. Both of these aspects are necessary for an understanding of the message of the book of Esther. There are also reflection questions at the end of each chapter to further develop personal application.

The book is written on the lay level, and it's not filled with fluff. Gregory refers to scholarly research which gets us beyond the typical beautiful heroine approach to the book of Esther. Gregory has eleven pages of bibliography that those who want to go deeper and broader will find as a gold mine.

From the back of the book:
Bryan Gregory shows us how Esther's literary techniques depict God's "absent presence" and "hidden involvement," encouraging us that while God appears uninvolved, he is at work under the surface to accomplish his purposes and deliver his people--ultimately revealing his hidden presence in Christ.

Almost Indistinguishable

Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person,

they are almost indistinguishable.

- David W. Augsburger
Caring Enough to Hear and Be Heard

Painting ~ Afternoon Tea, Sir John Everett Millais, 1889
public domain via Wikimedia Commons

Our Part Is to Nurture

If you're a Christian parent, I'm sure your greatest desire is that your children come to faith in Jesus Christ. I was reminded of that this week in talking with a mom who has wisdom in waiting for God to work in her child's heart.

Wanting to share an article with you that I read this week: "How the Spirit Draws a Child."  If you have children still living at home, I think you'll appreciate the "graces" the author discusses to nurture them in their faith. 

A brief excerpt from the article that you can find here:

As a pastor for family discipleship and children's ministries, I see how open children's hearts often are, with a kind of eagerness to learn that is distinct to childhood. Our part as parents is to nurture their hearts toward Christ through prayer, God's word, and patient love, while trusting the Spirit to minister to them as only he can. We cannot change our children's hearts. But we can welcome the Spirit's work as we join him in exalting the name of Jesus Christ in our homes. 

Painting - A Game in the Park 

Victor-Gabriel Gilbert, 1847-1933

public domain, Wikigallery