“… they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not" (I Tim. 5:13).
The context of this verse is idle young widows, who the Apostle Paul says should marry, bear children, manage their homes, and give the adversary no occasion for slander. Instead, they’re going from house to house gossiping and generally being busybodies.
Idle young widows aren’t the only ones with this problem. Younger or older, idle or not, many women are tempted to be gossips and busybodies. It’s not a harmless way to spend the day: “let none of you suffer as a murderer, a thief, an evil doer, or as a busybody in other people’s matters” (I Peter 4:15). Being a busybody is included in a rather corrupt listing.
What is a busybody? She’s a meddler in other people’s matters and delights in gathering up as much information as she can, most often gathering in the guise of friendship. And what becomes of this information? Delighting to know—for the purpose of ‘saying what they should not.’ She’s a meddler and a neglecter. She meddles in others' affairs and neglects her own.
How does today’s woman "go about from house to house…, saying what [she] should not?" We aren’t confined today to where we can walk and talk. Many are daily in the marketplace—though working, still idle in domestic duties—where there’s much information to be gathered in the lunchroom or at the desk. We have Internet chat rooms, email, and texting to keep us occupied hour after hour. We have the telephone where we can go from call to call, gleaning and passing along the information. Delighting to be the one who knows, who knows it first, and who is delighted to pass it on—as a prayer concern, of course.
Nancy Wilson, in her book The Fruit of Her Hands: Respect and the Christian Woman, says this about busybodies—
A few cautions come immediately to mind. First, ask yourself if you’re a busybody. If you are working hard at home, faithfully doing your God-given duties, then you will have little time for such foolish behavior. Nevertheless, recall your recent conversations. Have you been too involved in “other people’s matters?” Do you ask questions that are really not your business? Do you pass on information about other people’s affairs? And perhaps the most revealing question: Do you delight in being the first to know and the first to tell?
Second, do you have a friend who is a busybody? Take care. You may be drawn into her bad habits. Don’t listen to her repeat all the news. Excuse yourself from inappropriate conversations. Do you have a regular group you meet with to “visit” and fellowship with: a homeschool group, a sewing group, a quilting group, or a reading group? Is the conversation on topic, or is it often about other people? Perhaps you should withdraw from such a group, if it is dominated by busybodies….They will share things freely about others that they would never say if those people were present.
Finally, if you know someone to be a busybody, keep your distance. Be careful what you tell her. Assume that everything you say will get around the community. That should motivate you to exercise discretion. Be careful what you say about your family, especially about your husband. Be sure your comments are always respectful and kind and God-honoring. That sort of news isn’t nearly as fun to pass on.Painting~Ladies Having Tea by Henry Salem Hubbell
