I've learned, and am still learning, that the scent of struggle itself is the deep down whiff of my heart...a heart that is seeking its own satisfaction, its own delight, its own expectations. And so often in the struggle, I'm struck with the realization that I've been looking to something or someone other than God Himself to satisfy me, to delight me, to fulfill whatever expectations I may have.
I'm learning that so often I have God created in my own 'love language'. If He truly loves and cares about me, He would show His love in a way that is meaningful to me, a way that would give me warm fuzzies. Well, of course! He would fulfill my expectations, satisfy my longings for whatever, delight me with gifts and blessings and relationships and.... No, no. That's the psychobabble of much of today's counsel. God wants us to have a heart after Him, not a heart after ourselves.
The Bible tells us that we don't really know our own hearts. My experience has been that I've so often not even realized that I was idolizing something or someone. I just knew that there was a struggle going on within me. Amazing grace! That is one reason God sent the Holy Spirit to live in the hearts of His children. He searches our hearts, to see if there is any wayward way. And He teaches us God's ways. So thankful that I am not on my own to figure all of this out! And so thankful that God gave us the Scriptures so we could learn more about Him.
Bottom line for me...
Stay in the Word
Keep learning about God and His ways
Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness
Don't give in to the struggle of my own expectations
Painting ~ Breakfast Time, Carl Holsoe
