Some Thoughts On Anger

Anger. But not the righteous kind. A friend mentioned to me today that she was recently told by an acquaintance that she needs to control her anger. As my friend explained it, it was a situation that could provoke anger in many people. But the anger helped no one.

As I've thought about this through the day, though, I think it may have helped my friend to have had someone she doesn't know well to confront her about her anger. I think she was surprised that the gal wasn't just absorbing the anger coming her way. It was a wake up call to my friend on how others view her. I don't think she liked the picture she saw.

Where does anger come from? Why does it rise to the top so quickly?

But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.

Matthew 15:18

Anger comes out of the mouth because it's in the heart.  It lodges in the heart and grows deep, ugly roots. It defiles.

Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools.

Ecclesiastes 7:9

Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, 

but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.

Proverbs 14:29

Anger is the fruit of a fool. It's a fruit from its root. It often grows from fear. What or who do we fear? What or who do we fear that we can't control? What are we not getting that we think anger will get us? What are we willing to sin to get? Why are we thinking so much about ourselves? What or who should we be thinking about instead? Is our anger moving the kingdom of God forward? Our answers reveal our heart.

This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.

James 4:19-20

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Created by Mrsiraphol - Freepik.com

Sunday Ponderings ~ Anger, My Way

My ponderings today come from Ephesians 4, thoughts spawned from our pastor's sermon. Here the Apostle Paul is instructing believers to change their ways and live differently than they did as unbelievers. One aspect of change is that of anger: 

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil (v. 26-27).

Through the Apostle Paul, God is telling us not to sin in our anger. There is a positive form of anger that sets itself against wrong--anger at the taking of a life (whether born or yet-to-be-born), anger at injustice, anger at evil. There's much to be angry about in our broken-down, sinful world. Jesus was angry about some things, too. In being angry about what we should be angry about, however, we are not to let sin take us over. That nullifies the positive aspects of our anger.

How can we know if our anger is the good kind or the bad kind? As Pastor pointed out, it depends on who the focus is. Is it an unselfish anger based on love for God and those we love? Or is it selfish anger based on love for ourselves and how something goes against our own desires?

As Pastor was talking about how people can explode with anger and how harmful and sinful that is, my thoughts also went to those who implode with anger. That's more my style. Still harmful and sinful. Still giving opportunity to the devil.

Imploding anger is more the kind that we take to bed with us when the sun goes down. We lie there and think about it; we grow bitter and resentful and defensive; we make our case and how we'll deal with this the next opportunity we get. It smolders and takes its toll. And we've given opportunity to the devil to drain our soul. Not only this, but it grieves God who redeemed us.

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption (v.30)

What's the remedy for the bad kind of anger? It's replacing the bad thoughts with the good thoughts.

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.(v. 31-32)

Our feelings always flow from our thoughts, and actions follow feelings. So we change how we think, which will change how we feel, which will change how we act or react.

I have a painted board sitting in our family room that says,

Be Kinder Than Necessary

It's hard to be kind when I don't feel like being kindly toward someone. It's hard to feel kindly when I'm thinking wrong thoughts toward them.

I think you get the idea.

I have Philippians 4:8 framed above my kitchen cabinets. One phrase per frame that reminds me how I should think. I constantly need reminded.

Whatever is true 

Whatever is honorable 

Whatever is right 

Whatever is pure 

Whatever is lovely 

Whatever is of good report

If there is any excellence and

If anything worthy of praise

Think on these things!

[emphasis mine!]

So I ask myself, "What are my thoughts about this?" What's my focus? God's ways? My ways? What am I thinking on?

Painting ~ Lady Reading by a Window, Thomas Benjamin Kennington 1856-1916
Wikimedia Commons public domain