Save Them from Self-Destruction

I took my elderly mother to purchase some new eyeglasses and to do some shopping today. She always pushes a shopping cart to lean on to control her balance through the store, and today was the usual. As we passed another shopper with her cart and a little boy about 3-4 years old riding along in it, my mother commented to the little guy that she liked the jacket he was wearing.

I was glad that she didn't see his response to her cheerful comment as she moved along. I was following behind her as he made a mocking face and stuck out his tongue at her. I was so taken aback that I literally gasped at his rude antic. The lady, who appeared to be his grandmother, seemed to be just as shocked as I was. To her credit, she corrected him as we moved on. My mother undoubtedly had her hearing aid in only one ear today, for she didn't hear the exchange between the grandmother and her grandson. It certainly would have ruined the pleasant mood that she was in to have been aware of his rudeness.

Children can be unpredictable and often do things that embarrass parents and grandparents alike, but this little fella's spontaneous retort had an edge to it that I've not personally sensed in a child that young. Project that attitude a few years into the future, and there will be dark trouble brewing if someone doesn't come to his rescue.

Children need trained and disciplined for their own sake, as well as for those around them. While we like for our children to act like little angels, they aren't and they don't. The grandmother did the right thing and responded with correction. Too often, I've heard children merely be shouted down or disrespected when they've done something amiss. That isn't training them to live sociably with others, but rather shames them and stirs a rebellious heart.

An excellent book that I'd recommend to any parent or grandparent is Parenting:14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family by Paul David Tripp. This is a book that offers grace to parents as they rescue their children from themselves and the natural path they are on toward self-destruction. To watch a brief video about the book, just click on its image.

Weekend Daybook

Outside My Door...

Bright Christmas lights and decor going up in the neighborhood. Deflated Santas, a Minion, and Mickey Mouse globbing on the lawns during the day. Not very attractive. So the glow at night makes up for the glob in the day to some, I suppose. My own pho--I'll be glad when that fad has passed.

Brought a smile...
A little fella and his daddy out for a walk in the neighborhood. Exchanging greetings as I decorate the front porch. Little fellas always bring a smile to my heart. :-)

Thinking...
It is sad that the rights of parents need to be stated in an amendment to our Constitution, but that is the society we live in today. The Parental Rights Amendment has been introduced in the Senate and the House. The first section of the amendment: "The liberty of parents to direct the upbringing, education, and care of their children is a fundamental right." Please consider calling your Congressmen and encourage them to co-sponsor the amendment, if they have not already. The more co-sponsors, the more likely it will get to committee for a hearing. More information at parentalrights.org
   

Thankful...

That the White House has Merry Christmas greetings this year. Glad the slippery slope has slowed a little.

Noticing the sound of...

My Beloved quietly playing Christmas music. I'm surprised that he waited until December. :-)

Around the house...

In the Kitchen... 

Not much has happened there this week while My Beloved is experimenting with intolerance to certain foods. Something doesn't agree with him, but I think he's getting closer to figuring it out.

Looking forward to...
Getting rid of this cough and congestion.

Reading...

I like to choose a book about Jesus the Christ to read and reflect on during December as we celebrate His coming into the world. This year I've chosen Come Let Us Adore Him by Paul David Tripp. It's a daily advent devotional that also includes a central theme suggestion to discuss with children. For example, he suggests that you talk with your children about why people sing, and talk about why the angels sang at the birth of Jesus.



You can enjoy some brief 2-minute Advent/Christmas videos with Tripp on similar topics at his website:  paultripp.com

Pondering...
"The Advent story reminds us that our past, present, and future hope rest not on our willingness, but on the willingness of the One for whom the angels sang, the shepherds worshiped, and the magi searched. Willing Jesus is the only hope for unwilling sinners!" ~ Paul David Tripp, in Come Let us Adore Him

We Are Not What We Once Were

I was out with a friend today, and as we chatted about children and families, talk turned to growth. Our own growth as women and mothers. She made a comment that I think is well to remember...that even though we might not feel today like we're growing and maturing in our faith and how we respond to life, that if we would consider how we've grown and changed over a period of time, then we can more easily see it. And be encouraged by it! We are not what we, by God's grace, will be, but, thankfully, we are not what we once were. And that is by God's grace as well.

Our conversation this morning reminded me of a recent devotional reading. Let me share it with you. It was an encouragement to me. Perhaps it will be for you also.

from Heart of the Matter, Nov. 18 entry by Timothy Lane and Paul David Tripp :

I can be glad that God's Word is a mirror into my heart and that God puts people in my life to help me to see myself more accurately. I can be excited about my potential to learn, change, and grow. I will also seek godly help. The cross opens me up to the resources of God's grace. One of those resources is the body of Christ. I will not live independently. I will take advantage of biblical teaching available to me. I will seek the fellowship of a small group. I will pursue the wisdom of mature brothers and sisters. I will try to benefit from the accountability a close friend can provide. And I will take advantage of all these resources by being honest about my struggles of heart and behavior.

Painting ~ Cup of Tea, Walter Granville-Smith, 1870-1938

WikiGallery, public domain

When Our Hearts Are Captured

Clipart Panda

It was so good to be back in worship service today and to have conversation with fellow believers after being away for so long with the flu. So thankful for the church family God has brought us to here. Being reminded of a reason my church is so important. Sharing that thought with you today.
 

Yet if your heart is being progressively captured by the awe of God, his work, his grace, and his kingdom ("things that are above"), you will see your church not just as a place you attend but as a major commitment of your life, and you will live with a ministry lifestyle in the place where God has put you. When awe of God has captured your heart, ministry will fill your schedule. You won't need the church to schedule ministry for you; you will approach work, marriage, parenting, extended family, friendships, and community with a ministry mentality.

~ Paul David Tripp, Awe: Why It Matters for Everything We Think, Say, and Do

Sunday Worship ~ Getting Our Awe Back

You could argue that every element of the gathered worship of God's people is intended to give people their awe back again. We need a moment to refocus on the grandeur of God's glory and grace. We need to see his awesome wisdom and power again. We need to dwell on his patience and faithfulness again. We need to be stunned by the perfection of his holiness and the righteousness of his judgment again. We need to be encouraged by the awesome truth of his constant presence again. We need to be reminded to rest in his amazing sovereignty again. And we need to be blown away by the reality that, by grace, he is all these things for us. He has unleashed his awesome glory on us! You see, awe doesn't just remind you of who God is; it redefines for you who you are as his creature and his blood-bought child.

Paul David Tripp in AWE

The Love Affair With Romance

A Day of Romance

But often a marriage misconception

Today can be a fun day, but for many it's a day of disillusion and disappointment, with or without that special someone. When there is a special someone, it can be more disappointing because of expectations borne out of our culture's love affair with romance itself. And a misconception of what real love is.

Why acts of romance cannot be the basis for a healthy marriage relationship is the discussion in Paul Tripp's marriage conference: What Did You Expect: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage. The first two sessions are available for viewing today on Tripp's website. Just click on the image to go there. I'm not sure how long they will be offered.

The conference is also on DVD with a discussion guide. My Beloved and I have worked through it, as well as using it in our SS class a few years ago. Many in the class were astonished that they hadn't heard this type of teaching on marriage before, and for many, many years we had not either. There is no psychobabble in it. It is filled with biblical truth and principle.

I don't care for going out to dinner on Valentine's Day, so I'm going to fix a dinner that My Beloved especially likes. Then we're going to watch these sessions once again that Paul Tripp is offering. Review and Refresh. And Recommit.

Valentine's Day ~ Thinking About True Love

 Image ~ ElisaRiva via pixabay CC0 Creative Commons

Valentine's Day — an opportunity to think about what love really is. I don't mean the chocolate-flowers-gooshy-mooshy-sweet-nothings-in-your-ear-in-love-with-love sort of stuff. I'm talking about true, self-giving, God-given love. Love for any relationship. Love for whether or not we're loved back in the same way.

I saw this list from Paul David Tripp that I want to share with you on this Thinking-of-Love Day. I have some things that I need to change about my love. Thought maybe that you might, too.

Here's the word from Paul. . . .

Every healthy relationship requires love and sacrifice, so if you're a parent, child, sibling, neighbor, pastor, or co-worker, this list is for you. God bless you in your relationships, and may the Holy Spirit empower you to love with a love that is not your own.

23 Things That Love Is

1. LOVE IS... being willing to have your life complicated by the needs and struggles of others without impatience or anger.
2. LOVE IS... actively fighting the temptation to be critical and judgmental toward another while looking for ways to encourage and praise.
3. LOVE IS... making a daily commitment to resist the needless moments of conflict that come from pointing out and responding to minor offenses.
4. LOVE IS... being lovingly honest and humbly approachable in times of misunderstanding.
5. LOVE IS... being more committed to unity and understanding than you are to winning, accusing, or being right.
6. LOVE IS... making a daily commitment to admit your sin, weakness, and failure and to resist the temptation to offer an excuse or shift the blame.
7. LOVE IS... being willing, when confronted by another, to examine your heart rather than rising to your defense or shifting the focus.
8. LOVE IS... making a daily commitment to grow in love so that the love you offer to another is increasingly selfless, mature, and patient.
9. LOVE IS... being unwilling to do what is wrong when you have been wronged, but looking for concrete and specific ways to overcome evil with good.
10. LOVE IS... being a good student of another, looking for their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs so that in some way you can remove the burden, support them as they carry it, or encourage them along the way.
11. LOVE IS... being willing to invest the time necessary to discuss, examine, and understand the relational problems you face, staying on task until the problem is removed or you have agreed upon a strategy of response.
12. LOVE IS... being willing to always ask for forgiveness and always being committed to grant forgiveness when it is requested.
13. LOVE IS... recognizing the high value of trust in a relationship and being faithful to your promises and true to your word.
14. LOVE IS... speaking kindly and gently, even in moments of disagreement, refusing to attack the other person’s character or assault their intelligence.
15. LOVE IS... being unwilling to flatter, lie, manipulate, or deceive in any way in order to co-opt the other person into giving you what you want or doing something your way.
16. LOVE IS... being unwilling to ask another person to be the source of your identity, meaning, and purpose, or inner sense of well-being, while refusing to be the source of theirs.
17. LOVE IS... the willingness to have less free time, less sleep, and a busier schedule in order to be faithful to what God has called you to be and to do as a spouse, parent, neighbor, etc.
18. LOVE IS... a commitment to say no to selfish instincts and to do everything that is within your ability to promote real unity, functional understanding, and active love in your relationships.
19. LOVE IS... staying faithful to your commitment to treat another with appreciation, respect, and grace, even in moments when the other person doesn’t seem deserving or is unwilling to reciprocate.
20. LOVE IS... the willingness to make regular and costly sacrifices for the sake of a relationship without asking for anything in return or using your sacrifices to place the other person in your debt.
21. LOVE IS... being unwilling to make any personal decision or choice that would harm a relationship, hurt the other person, or weaken the bond of trust between you.
22. LOVE IS... refusing to be self-focused or demanding, but instead looking for specific ways to serve, support, and encourage, even when you are busy or tired.
23. LOVE IS... daily admitting to yourself, the other person, and God that you are unable to be driven by a cruciform love without God’s protecting, providing, forgiving, rescuing, and delivering grace.

The Pain of Grace

Winter is Upon Us ~ J. Vanderbrink

Praying for friends this afternoon and evening, parents with huge disappointments and loss and questions about how to make things better with and for their almost-out-of-the-nest child. I wonder how many of us haven't walked that path at one time or another.  We did all we knew to do, but what is unfolding is very different than what we'd planned. Dreams didn't come true. 

The harvest is not what we expected, but what we must understand is that God is the Great Gardener. He has new seeds that He wants us to plant and then allow Him to give the increase. This was a great lesson to me as I read what was probably my most significant read in 2010--Lost in the Middle/ Midlife and the Grace of God by Paul David Tripp. It's about how we begin to look back on life's experiences and disappointments with regret and discouragement. It's about letting the pain of regret instead be the pain of grace--growing pains, if you will. Anytime in life. Anytime there's regret and deep disappointment, or grieving over a lost dream. 

There's much encouragement to be found if we can turn from our mourning. Let me share a bit with you as Tripp helps us to understand.  

 "In midlife God calls you to turn from mourning over your previous harvest to planting new and better seeds. Maybe you mourn about the harvest of your parenting. Plant new seeds. Maybe that means working to restore distant or broken relationships with your adult children. Or it could mean being a wise and godly grandparent, sowing spiritual seeds in the souls of the next generation. Perhaps you mourn that your life was controlled by your career. Take advantage of the time and economic freedom that midlife affords and plant new seeds. Work less and invest in family and ministry more. Perhaps you mourn the fact that you did not study Scripture more diligently in your youth. There are many opportunities to increase your knowledge of God's word and your potential for ministry. Perhaps you mourn over a selfish life, where all you earned was spent on a more comfortable life for you. Commit to finding specific ways that you can give and serve. Ask yourself: which of my gifts, experiences, resources, and wisdom can I use to serve others?

"You're now in the autumn of your life, and you're quite aware that the leaves are off the trees. You're standing in a pile of the leaves of your marriage, your parenting, your extended family, your friendships, your work, and your ministry. These leaves of the past have grown wrinkled and dry, and you know you cannot put them back on the tree. It's tempting to sit down in the pile and examine leaf after leaf and wish you were holding a new bud from a new sapling, but you aren't. The harvest has come in, and it is what it is. Yet in all of this there is hope because our Lord is the Lord of new seasons. With the new season comes the freedom to plant new and better seeds. With the new season comes the expectation of a new harvest of new fruit.

"Stand up and walk away from your pile of yesterday's leaves. Take the seeds of a new way into your hands, press them into the soil of your life, and thank God that you will live to see a better harvest."

 

 Click to go to Paul David Tripp Ministries