Ordinary Acts

The ordinary acts we practice every day in the home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest.

~ Thomas Moore

Image ~ Reading Lesson, Helen Allingham, 1848-1926

public domain via Wikioo

Where There Is Love....

Love is always ready to deny itself, to give, sacrifice, 

just in the measure of its sincerity and intensity. 

Perfect love is perfect self-forgetfulness. 

Hence where there is love in a home, unselfishness is the law. 

Each forgets self and lives for others.

~ J.R. Miller

Painting ~ Helping Little Sister, Paul Seignac, 1826-1904

public domain via WikiGallery

The Home of Tender Childhood

The house itself in which we live, with its surroundings and adornments, is important. Every home-influence, even the very smallest, works itself into the heart of childhood.

Homes are the real schools in which men and women are raised, and fathers and mothers are the real teachers and builders of life.

There is nothing in all the influences and surroundings of the home of tender childhood so small that it does not leave its touch of beauty or of marring upon the life.

~ JR. Miller, in Home-Making,1882 

Painting ~ A Critical Moment, Harry Brooker, 1848-1940

Public domain via Wikimedia Commons

As Families Must Do

I mentioned the book, The Farmer's Wife Sampler Quilt: Letters from 1920s Farm Wives and the 111 Blocks They Inspired sometime last year. I picked it up again today as it caught my eye in my sewing room. I'm not a farmer's wife, but I have a dear friend who is, and she had sent me the book, knowing I like to quilt. She loves being a farmer's wife, and whenever I see it, I think of her. It includes letters from women who share the good things they experience about being a farmer's wife.

I think many of us share the same sentiments in regard to our own homes and desires for our children, be it on the farm or in the neighborhood. Sharing a brief excerpt with you today. I do have modern conveniences, but I still relate to this thought. I think you might as well. If you'd like to know more about the book, just click on the image.

We live in one of those much-talked-about homes where folks do not have all the modern conveniences but we do have good books, good music and a wealth of flowers and growing things about us. Above all else, we live together, working and playing and planning together, as families must do, if the love and unity of that family are to become an inspiration to its members and to the community in which they live. 

~C. McD. B., Marion County, Indiana in The Farmer's Wife Sampler Quilt: Letters from 1920s Farm Wives and the 111 Blocks They Inspired

It Matters Not

The First Birthday Party 1863, Frederick Daniel Hardy 1826-1911

It matters not how little or how much of grandeur, of luxury, of costly adornment there may be. Money and art can do many things, but they cannot make a home. There may be more of the spirit of a true home in a lowly cottage or in the one room where poverty finds a shelter, than in the stateliest mansion.         

~ J.R. Miller, in Home-Making

Home, Something More

Lord, let our house be something more 

Than just a shelter with a door;

     May its windows glow with light,

     Shedding radiance through the night.

Not just a glitter of glass and chrome,

But give it the "feel" of a happy home.

Let it have flowers, a well-loved book,

Soft cushions in a quiet nook.

     May it be more than downy bed,

     Or snowy cloth with silver spread;

Lend it some smiles, warm sympathy,

With kindly thought, true charity—

     That all may recall, though far they roam,

     That God was there—in the heart of home.

~ Christine White

Painting ~ Room of Flowers, Childe Hassam 1893

Home Duties and Pleasures

 

After Laura and Mary had washed and wiped the dishes, swept the floor, made their bed, and dusted, they settled down with their books. But the house was so cozy and pretty that Laura kept looking up at it.

- Laura Ingalls Wilder from The Banks of Plum Creek

Painting ~ A Girl Reading, 1871  Johann Georg Meyer 1813-1886

Domesticity ~ A True Home

Home is among the holiest of words. A true home is one of the most sacred of places. It is a sanctuary into which men flee from the world's perils and alarms. It is a resting-place to which at close of day the weary retire to gather new strength for the battle and toils of tomorrow. It is the place where love learns its lessons, where life is schooled into discipline and strength, where character is molded.

~ J.R. Miller, from Secrets of Happy Home Life

Painting ~ Ogunquit Doorway, Abbot Fuller Grace 1839-1936

Feeling Like Home

I had posted a few months back that I needed to put blogging on hold for awhile. That was five months ago as my days were filled with getting the house ready to sell, then the actual move, and for the past month or so getting settled into our new house. I had written in my previous post that I was looking forward to having a welcoming front porch where I could sit and greet neighbors. Well, this porch isn't my dream porch. It's nestled back a ways between the side walls and is out of sight except when you're passing right in front of it, but I'll see what I can do with it come spring.

It's starting to feel like home here now, and I'm beginning to have more of a routine to my days again with time for gathering my thoughts and journaling a bit. Blogging helps me to think about what's happening around me and to reflect on how I respond to it. My thoughts may not be deep or insightful, but when I put them into words, it helps me to understand myself a little better and draws my thoughts Upward and Homeward. Perhaps, too, my journaling will be a legacy for my grandchildren and future generations to read. Hopefully, they'll be interested in knowing a little about me.

Thoughts at the moment are gratitude for being able to move near family. My parents and siblings moved away over the years, and when our daughters married, they also moved far away with their hubbies. As the years have passed, and the house has been much too quiet, we've missed having family around. After much prayer and consideration, we decided to make a new home near my parents and my sister who lives with them, to help in whatever ways we could in their latter years and to enjoy the feeling of belonging that family brings. That would be 500 miles from where we lived, so the move was major. 

We moved into their neighborhood and can walk to one another's house. I walk around the neighborhood with my sister occasionally, and can stop in to chat with Mom and Dad for a few moments. Such a warm feeling.

My youngest sister and her family also live in this neighborhood, so we're reconnected once again. After their retirement my parents had moved to Florida, but after a few years decided to move here to be near my sister and her six children. She now has two of her children married with seven grandchildren so far, so there are lots of family here and more to come! I still miss my daughters ever-ever-so-much, and long deeply to be with them and the grandchildren. Perhaps someday God will pave the way for us to live closer to one another. What a blessing that would be!! 

Someone said not long ago that family was not as important to them as it is to us. Well, that may be how they feel about it, but I think they miss the intent God has for families. We see throughout the Scriptures how God worked in and through the relationships of the family. Not just immediate families, but the extended family as well, as they interacted with one another and passed on the faith. 

My heart's desire is to tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord. That's one of the important aspects of extended family--to tell of God's faithfulness from one generation to the next. It's not impossible with all the miles between us, but as I often say, distance is no friend to families. That's one reason why I blog/journal--so the next generation with hear of God's faithfulness to their grandparents.

If you have family nearby, you are truly blessed! You have a wonderful opportunity to tell the next generation the praises of the Lord, and His strength, and His wonderous works that He has done. (Psalm 78:4)

Divine Blessing

We need the divine blessing on everything we have and everything we do. Surely there is no work, no plan, no undertaking in all the range of the possible things we may do in the longest and busiest lifetime, on which we so much desire God's benediction as upon our home. In nothing else are so many sacred interests and such momentous responsibilities involved. Nowhere else in life do we meet such difficult and delicate duties. In nothing else is failure so disastrous.

~ J.R. Miller in Homemaking (1882)

Painting ~ Mother and Child 1885, Jones Francis Coates 1857-1932
public domain via Wiki Commons

Love Always Serves

The Little Helpmate, Kilburne

Sharing a thought from Secrets of Happy Home Life by J.R. Miller:  

Love always serves, or it is not love at all.

The greatest in Christ's kingdom are those who serve the most unselfishly. Husband and wife vie with each other in loving and serving. They mutually bear each other's burdens. The husband is the head, but he never says so; never reminds his wife of it; never claims authority; and defers to her in everything. 

 

The wife recognizes her husband as head, honors him, looks up to him with esteem and confidence—all the more because he never demands subjection. Thus true love in husband and wife never has any trouble about rights or place. Side by side they stand, these two wedded lovers, each a part of the other, each incomplete, a mere fragment without the other, but strong in their happy union in love.

Painting ~ The Little Helpmate by George Goodwin Kilburne 1839-1924
Wikigallery public domain

Everyday Moments

Thinking about comments from our Mom's Discussion Group this evening. The topic was on having a servant's heart toward our children, of self-sacrifice in modeling God's love and care for them. Our talk tonight was counter-cultural in our self-seeking, self-interest world. As we read our chapter for the week, we highlight significant statements from The Mission of Motherhood: Touching Your Child's Heart for Eternity by Sally Clarkson. We talk about those statements when we come together. One of mine this week was:

But it's the way I respond to my children in everyday moments that gives me the best chance of winning their hearts.

It's about touching their hearts for eternity. Our children are the only "things" that we can take into eternity with us. They matter more than our personal time and interests and the myriad other distractions that draw our own heart away.

When our heart is in tandem with God's eternal purposes, not so much seems like a sacrifice. We begin to see our children as God sees them, and it powerfully affects us as well as them. Our eyes open to teachable and touchable moments--to show them God's love and care in a fallen down, broken world.

Our children learn much about God by how we respond in those everyday moments.

Painting ~ The Prayer Before Meal 1740, Jean Baptiste Simeon Chardin 1688-1779

WikiArt public domain

Little Attentions and Kindnesses

There is no place in the world where the amenities of courtesy should be so carefully maintained as in the home. There are no hearts that hunger so for expressions of affection as the hearts of which we are most sure. There is no love that so needs its daily bread as the love that is strongest and holiest. There is no place where rudeness or incivility is so unpardonable as inside our own doors and toward our best beloved. The tenderer the love and the truer, the more it craves the thousand little attentions and kindnesses which so satisfy the heart.  ~ J. R. Miller 

Painting ~ A Present for My Sister, Philippe F. Sauvage 

French 19th century

via I Am A Child In Art History

Home ~ A Spring Among the Hills

I've been reading once again The Family (formerly titled Home-Making) by J.R. Miller (1882) in which he addresses the roles and relationships in a harmonious home. I've been working on a baby shower devotional for a dear friend, and Miller's introductory remarks are a fitting reminder of the part homes play in the blessing of a nation. I thought I'd share this thought with you today.

"The benediction that falls upon the homes of a country is like the gentle rain that descends afterward, and along the banks of a thousand streamlets flowing through the valleys the grass is greener and the flowers pour out richer fragrance.

"Homes are the springs among the hills, whose many streamlets, uniting, form like great rivers society, the community, the nation, the Church. If the springs run low the rivers waste; if they pour out bounteous currents the rivers are full. If the springs are pure the rivers are clear like crystal; if they are foul the rivers are defiled. A curse upon homes sends a poisoning blight everywhere; a blessing sends healing and new life into every channel."

A spring among the hills with a new bundle of joy arriving soon. May this home pour out pure, bounteous currents into every channel.

Painting ~ A Quiet Moment, Lise Auger

Domesticity ~ N Is for Nurturing the Nest

Domesticity - devoted to home duties and pleasures

The nest may be constructed, so far as the sticks go, by the male bird; 

but only the hen can line it with moss and down! 

  - Frances P. Cobbe

Today is cleaning day at our house, so I thought I’d share just a few things that help to nurture our nest. Actively managing our homes nurtures the beauty and peace that can be found there. It brings contentment and gratitude for the place we call home.

1. I don't know about you, but I tend toward idleness or piddling. It helps to keep my focus toward Proverbs 31-- "She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness....Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates (Proverbs 31:27, 31). I do want a fruitful harvest, and I know idleness and piddling will not produce it.

2. I view my homekeeping as stewardship of my giftedness. What better place to receive the benefits and blessings of what we do well?

3. Weekly Routines—No matter what the routines are, they help us follow through. God created day by day. It helps me to have a day for each major task, and it changes with seasons (weather-wise, family-wise, and me-wise).

4. Daily Routines—I divide the day into segments that I fill with daily routines. These have varied over the years, depending on family situations, etc., and yours would be different. I have five segments with wiggle room that helps me plan and move through the day. I try not to carry tasks from one segment over to the next unless it’s absolutely necessary. Instead, I carry it over to the next day.

5. I try to do a little each day as time permits. For some ideas, here’s a link for 40 Household Jobs in 5 Minutes or Less.

6. I generally pick up as I go. I try to be consistent in not putting it down, but putting it away. All those little things add up to lots of time when it has to be done all at once.

7. Delegate responsibilities to the children. My daughters were doing their own laundry (not the ironing) when they were nine years old. Children can do a lot more than our culture expects of them. A homeschooling lifestyle allows time for learning life skills.

8. To help with clutter, I kept a basket for odds and ends left out at the end of the day. Anything I had to pick up after the children were off to bed went into the basket, with a small fee the next day for retrieval of each neglected item by those old enough for allowance.

9. I find it helps to preview the evening before as to what I'll be doing the next day. That way, if I need to make any preparations, I'm ready to get going with it. It also helps me begin the day focused and not piddling away the time. 

10.  These are just some of my frameworks for living a disciplined life. I use a pencil when I make my plans because I know God has a big eraser. First and foremost is to glorify Him.

Live and love the season that you're in. Rainbows and childhood too soon disappear.

N is for Nest, 
art.com

Manners and Courtesy in the Home

As My Beloved and I were leaving church on Sunday, we stopped to chat with a young couple and the conversation turned to men being chivalrous. This young man was commenting that chivalry has left our culture, and that it is to our shame. How encouraging it was to hear a young man lamenting that loss, yet how much more encouraging to see him carrying his young lady's bags and opening the car door for her. It's such a blessing to see our own sons-in-law doing to the same for our daughters.

I often comment to My Beloved how much I appreciate his gentlemanliness toward me, as he is always attentive to opening doors for me, helping me with my coat, assisting me into the car, and so many other thoughtful acts of love. Too often I see husbands who give no attention to these little acts of kindness, and thankfulness stirs within me for the heart of My Beloved. When kindness reciprocates kindness, gracious courtesy is set in motion.

I'd like to share the following piece from Grenville Kleiser's Inspiration and Ideals: Thoughts for Everyday, 1918.

"There is special need for gentle manners and courtesy in the home. The familiarity of family intercourse may unconsciously lead to laxity in kindliness, willingness, and considerateness. Habits of self-restraint, intelligent tact, and self-sacrifice are frequently needed where people of varied tastes and temperaments are in intimate daily contact. It is remarkable what one member of a household can do by means of right personal example. When you apply the qualities of sincerity, graciousness, courtesy, cheerfulness and affectionate regard toward those in your family circle, you have set in motion an influence which can not be adequately estimated. Love always wins, and it is still the greatest thing in the world."

Home Training

Had a delightful conversation with a young mother whose heart God is turning more and more homeward. Much is happening in their lives right now as God is leading them in the discipleship of their children at home. He has also laid the path for their move back to live near her family where she grew up. What true reward and benefit will be to this extended family as multi-generational faithfulness is strengthened. What a blessing it was to share in their excited anticipation!

Oswald Chambers' thoughts on "Gratitude for Home Training":

Our family life in Perth was a very united one; each evening, after the home-lessons were done, was given up to games of various kinds. We found our enjoyment and entertainment in our home; no outside amusements could possibly compare with the fun and happiness to be found there. We never had any desire to be out playing or walking with chums.... I feel traits in my character I knew not of before, and it causes me to bow in deeper gratitude for that home training which I have now left, for the training and disciplines of life. Oh! What a mighty influence home life has on us! Indeed, we do not know how deep a debt we owe to our mothers and fathers and their training.