The Divisive Tongue

Today's reading from 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue by Deborah Smith Pegues is reflective of a current situation close to my heart........

Sometimes it is hard to believe there are people who deliberately engage in bringing dissension. The sixth chapter of Proverbs lists seven things that the Lord detests; among them is "a man who stirs up dissension among brothers" (verse 19). In Ephesians 4:3, Paul urges believers to keep the "unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." Obviously, he knew that keeping peace required tremendous effort.

Have you used your tongue to sow discord? Know that anytime you tell another person something negative that someone else has said about him, your action will probably cause division. This is not to say that you should avoid warning a person about another who is not acting in his best interests. However, you must be honest about your underlying motive. You may be trying to gain that person's favor by appearing loyal enough to expose the bad guy, or you may be indirectly communicating your own feelings about the person at the expense of another. Whatever your rationale, the result is still the same--a relationship will be damaged and God will be displeased. As you recall the last time you used your tongue as a tool of divisiveness, consider what excuse you used for doing so. Are you ready to repent for this sin?

Not only are we to refrain from causing division, we must also become active agents of peace, using our best efforts to reconcile parties in conflict. Thankful for those who do so.

 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God. 

Matthew 5:9 

Painting ~ Recalling the Past 1888, Carlton Alfred Smith 1853-1946
Wikimedia Commons public domain

The Peacemaker

Are you ever caught up in family or friend disagreements? What can you do to reconcile relationships? I recently read The Peacemaker by Ken Sande that gives some insight. This is a book for anyone who is willing to be the peacemaker in their own relationships or to help others in resolving conflict. Sande gives biblical guidance to deal with issues in a way that promotes peace and helps restore broken relationships.  Among other issues, he discusses:

            -How to use conflict as an opportunity to please and honor God

            -The importance of Christian conciliation

            -Why Christians should resolve disputes in church and not in court

            -When and how to assert your rights

            -How to confess wrongs honestly and effectively

            -How to change attitudes and habits that lead to conflict

            -When it is appropriate to confront others regarding sinful behavior

            -How to confront others in an effective manner

            -When and how to forgive others and to achieve genuine reconciliation

            -How to negotiate just and reasonable arguments

            -How to deal with people who refuse to be reasonable

See a current situation in the list? I wish I had read The Peacemaker for a particular friendship conflict fifteen years ago. I struggled. Are you? I encourage you to read The Peacemaker. If you go to Peacemaker Ministries website (here), you can download the first chapter free. I listened to part of the audio book as I walked on the treadmill.