The Supper Table ~ A Good Time for Discipleship

My Beloved and I were out to our homeschool class today and stopped at a family-owned restaurant for supper on the way home. There was a family across the way with two sons who were playing chess on their laptop computer. No conversation was going on among the family--just passing the laptop back and forth. Recently we were in a restaurant, and grandparents had their young grandson with them. They had brought a DVD player, and he was watching some cartoons. At another restaurant not long ago, a family with three children had come in and while the children were coloring, the parents were both busy with their cell phones. The same thing was true on another occasion. And just last week when we were out, there were a couple of women at a nearby table with their daughters, who were on their cell phones. At least the women were talking to each other! None of the others seemed to exchange more than a dozen words. Physically together, but emotionally disconnected.

As I was watching this family today, my mind went back to when our daughters were younger and living at home and the depth of conversations we would have at supper time. We'd more often than not spend an hour or so at the table, simply sharing happenings of the day or talking about some pertinent topics or struggles they may be having. That was a time purposefully set aside for our family to come together and talk. Supper was a major tool for discipling our family.

If parents aren't diligent about redeeming the time they do have with their children, the years will be gone before they know it. Our culture has become noisy and cluttered to the extreme. The fast pace gets many people addicted to their own adrenalin, and they speed up life far beyond what they can emotionally or physically handle. Such a condition gives birth to depression and hopelessness.

If you have a family at home and you aren't doing so already, I encourage you to be diligent about providing time and space for your children to reflect and contemplate. Bring some quiet to their days, and be cautious of adding activity upon activity that rushes them through each day. I encourage you to disciple your children. That takes conversation. At least leave the technology out of the room when you sit down to eat together. Look each other in the eyes and talk to one another. You just might be surprised at what you hear. Maybe even more surprised at what you say.

Painting ~ One of the Family, Frederick George Cotman, 1880

Technology ~ The Illusion of Intimacy

I'm currently reading a book entitled Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture by Adam S. McHugh. Whether introvert, extrovert, or somewhere in-between, we would all do well to be aware that our use of social networking tends to replace real-life relationships, leaving us relationally malnourished.

"Technology allures us with the illusion of intimacy but not the reality of it. We may be regularly communicating with others and yet painfully alone. Shane Hipps, author of The Hidden Power of Electronic Culture, says that "if your relationships are comprised of a disproportionate amount of mediated communication you will be relationally, spiritually, and emotionally malnourished." Technology can become for us a hiding place, a drug we take to escape from our negative emotions and experiences. It can expose the shadow side of our imaginations, taking us into a nameless fantasy world where we can feed our addictions, all the while aggravating our sense of isolation from others, God, and even ourselves. We must become aware of these traps of modern technology and use its immense benefits without letting it overpower us."

How much better to have a friend over for that afternoon cup of tea and a live chat, or meet at a local coffee shop or tea room with a group of friends. Look each other in the eyes and feel one another's emotions, hopes, joys, struggles. Be one another's encouragement in a culture that's noisy and disconnected and lonely. Then hug each other goodbye and keep them in your mind's eye for several days to come. That's real connection, folks. And if the electricity goes off, you can even do without the tea or coffee.

Photograph by Eric Kamp, AllPosters.com