For the Children's Sake

I dropped by our daughter's house yesterday to help her decide about an entryway rug. It was so good to see the family since these days the visits are few. The grandchildren were happily riding their bikes on the driveway and drawing raceways with colored chalk. They've been having more imaginative childhood play away from scheduled afternoon activities while they wait out the Covid-19 days. They homeschool, so mornings haven't changed much, but I know they're looking forward to getting back to being with friends at church and soccer and gymnastics and drama class and swimming and co-op gatherings and club meetings and overnighters with Nana and Grandad and ....

I know I long to get back to some activities myself, but this has been a good time to consider how important each of those activities actually are. What do I really need to be doing? What do I miss doing? What have I done instead? Which is more fruitful?

I think this down time is an especially opportune time for parents to reconsider their children's activities away from home. Do these activities pull the family apart or bring them together in a good way? I know that sometimes getting children involved elsewhere helps developmentally, but are all the activities needed to accomplish that? It's good to ask ourselves what the goals are with the activities we might have each of our children going to. And what does each activity take away from them as they spend time at it?

When our children were seven and ten, we had a two-year temporary assignment several states away. Most of what we were accustomed to doing was left behind. The girls and I needed to rebuild our daily life. Their dad's days were pre-programmed with work, but the girls and I had to make our own way. We found that it was good, though, to go back to the foundation and stack the bricks with what was truly important at that time.  It happened again two years later when we returned from the temporary assignment. This change forever changed how we did family life. Those were the beginning of the teen years, years that I could have lived in forever. Children grow into teens who become young adults, and off they go. If we hadn't had that last opportunity for change, we would not be who we are today. Sometimes it's good to just be able to start over.

The time may soon be approaching (hopefully so!) when families will be free to start over. We're told that the start-over will begin slowly. I pray that families will take the opportunity to consider what is truly needful for their family. Undoubtedly, it will be some of the previous activities. But, perhaps, it might not be all of them.

For the children's sake.

On Belittling

A classmate's question to the professor reminded me how we need to instruct the children in our lives: "I'm wondering where I can find the requirements for cover pages for our papers? In the first class I took with you I didn't meet the requirements, but I never found out what they were."
 
While this student has the maturity to ask for clarification, children typically don't. When we fail to give requirements for a task before it's begun, we set our children up for failure. And when the task isn't completed to our liking, it's not necessarily the child's fault but, rather, our failure to be explicit as to expectations for the task.

If we don't realize the underlying problem and then begin to belittle our children, their spirit can be bruised, and eventually our relationship with them is harmed. Resentment may settle in on our children for being belittled or on ourselves for thinking they are being obstinate. Children can also begin to feel that they fail at every turn or that we can never be pleased. This is not the way to train up a child in the way he should go.

Children begin to understand themselves from those who nurture them. They are valued by God and need to feel valued by us. If we sense that our children are feeling devalued or insecure, we need to check how we're communicating our expectations. Even though each child may respond differently, the impact of belittling is felt in their hearts even if it doesn't show on their faces. Many of us have grown up with scarred hearts that often take years to heal, if they even do.

Whether it's our children or our grandchildren, expectations need to be clear. When we show that our expectations are not met over and over again, children learn not to expect that anything they do will be acceptable to us. And it will be a downhill spiral between the two of us.

Some suggestions to keep good vibes flowing between us and within the child's own spirit:

- Be clear as to our expectations. Does she understand what we want her to do?

- Be realistic in our expectations. Can he actually do what we want him to do?

- Be affirming as we instruct. Telling them what not to do implies that we assume that they'll do it wrong before they even begin. Not: "Don't just throw your shoes in a pile in the closet." Instead, "Put your shoes on the rack in the closet."

And if they break something in their feeble attempts, we need to let it go if it wasn't intentional. What's a broken dish compared to a broken spirit? Our reactions at times such as this will stay with our children for a long, long, long time. Some of us still hear the echoes.

Belittling isn't training. It isn't discipline. It's Shaming. It's rejection. It hurts.

Image ~ Just An Accident

Philippe Francois Sauvage, 19th century

public domain

Christmas Read Alouds for Children

Christmas isn't far away, and then there are the 12 Days of Christmas afterward that can be a great time to remind children about giving and caring about others, or just Christmas fun reading. Sharing a podcast ink with you today from Sarah MacKenzie of Read Aloud Revival. She's sharing her favorite Christmas novels and short stories for reading aloud. Of course, the older children can read them themselves, or read to the younger siblings.

To go to Sarah's podcast, just click here. You'll find a treasure of other podcasts and articles as well!

Your Work Is Most Holy

Mothers of young children, your work is most holy. You are fashioning the destinies of immortal souls. The powers folded up in the little ones that you hushed to sleep in your bosoms last night are powers that shall exist forever. You are preparing them for their immortal destiny and influence. Be faithful. Take up your sacred burden reverently. Be sure that your heart is pure and that your life is sweet and holy.

~ J.R. Miller, Grace Gems 


Image ~ In the Nursery, Helen Allingham, 1848-1926

Save Them from Self-Destruction

I took my elderly mother to purchase some new eyeglasses and to do some shopping today. She always pushes a shopping cart to lean on to control her balance through the store, and today was the usual. As we passed another shopper with her cart and a little boy about 3-4 years old riding along in it, my mother commented to the little guy that she liked the jacket he was wearing.

I was glad that she didn't see his response to her cheerful comment as she moved along. I was following behind her as he made a mocking face and stuck out his tongue at her. I was so taken aback that I literally gasped at his rude antic. The lady, who appeared to be his grandmother, seemed to be just as shocked as I was. To her credit, she corrected him as we moved on. My mother undoubtedly had her hearing aid in only one ear today, for she didn't hear the exchange between the grandmother and her grandson. It certainly would have ruined the pleasant mood that she was in to have been aware of his rudeness.

Children can be unpredictable and often do things that embarrass parents and grandparents alike, but this little fella's spontaneous retort had an edge to it that I've not personally sensed in a child that young. Project that attitude a few years into the future, and there will be dark trouble brewing if someone doesn't come to his rescue.

Children need trained and disciplined for their own sake, as well as for those around them. While we like for our children to act like little angels, they aren't and they don't. The grandmother did the right thing and responded with correction. Too often, I've heard children merely be shouted down or disrespected when they've done something amiss. That isn't training them to live sociably with others, but rather shames them and stirs a rebellious heart.

An excellent book that I'd recommend to any parent or grandparent is Parenting:14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family by Paul David Tripp. This is a book that offers grace to parents as they rescue their children from themselves and the natural path they are on toward self-destruction. To watch a brief video about the book, just click on its image.

Its Neglect ~ A Strange Inconsistency

Interior with Woman Teaching Child to Pray

I trust there are none here present, who profess to be followers of Christ, who do not also practice prayer in their families. We may have no positive commandment for it, but we believe that it is so much in accord with the genius and spirit of the gospel, and that it is so commended by the example of the saints, that the neglect thereof is a strange inconsistency.       

- Charles Spurgeon

Restraining Prayer, Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit v. 51 p. 327

Painting - Interior with Woman Teaching Child to Pray

Pierre-Edouard Frere, 1819-1886

public domain via Wikimedia Commons

Our Part Is to Nurture

If you're a Christian parent, I'm sure your greatest desire is that your children come to faith in Jesus Christ. I was reminded of that this week in talking with a mom who has wisdom in waiting for God to work in her child's heart.

Wanting to share an article with you that I read this week: "How the Spirit Draws a Child."  If you have children still living at home, I think you'll appreciate the "graces" the author discusses to nurture them in their faith. 

A brief excerpt from the article that you can find here:

As a pastor for family discipleship and children's ministries, I see how open children's hearts often are, with a kind of eagerness to learn that is distinct to childhood. Our part as parents is to nurture their hearts toward Christ through prayer, God's word, and patient love, while trusting the Spirit to minister to them as only he can. We cannot change our children's hearts. But we can welcome the Spirit's work as we join him in exalting the name of Jesus Christ in our homes. 

Painting - A Game in the Park 

Victor-Gabriel Gilbert, 1847-1933

public domain, Wikigallery

Mealtime Conversations

Friday is pizza day for me, and while we were out this evening at our favorite place, we overheard delightful conversation from across the way. A family with a teenaged boy and girl truly seemed to be enjoying have an evening out for pizza themselves. While most often we see families busy with their iphones when we're in a restaurant, this family was having a lively, loving conversation as they discussed the happenings of the day.

I stopped for a brief chat with them as we were leaving, offering a word of commendation. The daughter was quite a chatterbox, although all were adding to the conversation and heartily laughing. The dad commented that when she's around there's always conversation. I commented that they were also actively engaged in listening while she was talking, which is just as rare these days. They were truly a blessing.

They reminded me so much of our own mealtime conversations with our daughters when they were living at home. Such good memories. Mealtime is a favorable time for re-connecting and learning what's going on in each other's lives, opportune moments for discipling.

It was easy to see that these parents know what's going on in their children's lives. Do you?

Painting ~ One of the Family, Frederick George Cotman

1850-1920, public domain via Wikimedia Commons

The Home of Tender Childhood

The house itself in which we live, with its surroundings and adornments, is important. Every home-influence, even the very smallest, works itself into the heart of childhood.

Homes are the real schools in which men and women are raised, and fathers and mothers are the real teachers and builders of life.

There is nothing in all the influences and surroundings of the home of tender childhood so small that it does not leave its touch of beauty or of marring upon the life.

~ JR. Miller, in Home-Making,1882 

Painting ~ A Critical Moment, Harry Brooker, 1848-1940

Public domain via Wikimedia Commons

On Grieving A Child's Death

Our church family is mourning the death of a precious six-month-old baby boy, lost to SIDS. The grief and hurt are deep for the dear parents, the 4-year-old brother, the grandparents, and others in the extended family who had rejoiced in his birth. Only God can bind up their broken hearts, for He is the Great Comforter.

But others of us can offer comfort by our ministry of presence. What is to be said at such heartbreak? I believe the less said the better this early in the bereavement. Just being there tomorrow at the visitation, without knowing what to say, without saying much except to express the sorrow we feel for the loss that has overshadowed their lives. And to let them know that they are in our prayers.

I'm reminded of Job and his friends, of how they were a comfort to him the few days they just sat with him and said nothing. After they began to fill the air with words, he called then "miserable comforters."

When we've not experienced such heartbreaking loss, it's often difficult to know how to comfort someone who grieves. We can be advised on what may be helpful and not helpful from the heart of others who have walked through that valley. In her article What My Son's Death Taught Me About Grief, one mother shares her own perspective. One thing that was surprising is her advice to keep God out of the conversation. I've heard that before, that those who have a great loss (even believers) can sometimes feel betrayed by God. Reminding them that God will work good out of their loss is not a comfort at the moment. God still comforts, however, in His own way, for He knows the needs of the heart. We can rest assured of that, even though it might not be through our words. I found that mother's helpful article here.

Everyone grieves differently. For many, being reminded of God's love and care is very meaningful. It's a unique and personal expression of emotions, and so we wait for a sense of what may be helpful.

Another insightful article is here on Grieving the Death of a Child.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we have received from God. ~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Image ~ Liebevolle Mutter, Hans Bachmann, 1881

public domain via WikiMedia Commons

Children's Books for Easter

Sharing a delightful website with you today for those of you who have an influence with children, which is just about everyone! It's the Read Aloud Revival with Sarah Mackenzie. It was introduced to me by a friend who has several children at home of all ages. It's been very helpful as I think about books for my grandchildren.

Sarah is very enthusiastic about reading aloud and has a podcast that will draw you into the adventures and benefits of reading aloud to children. Sometimes she interviews the authors, which is always an interesting discussion.

Sarah's latest podcast is a discussion about books for Easter in which she has recommendations for differing age groups. Our grands will be coming for a visit the week after Easter, so I'm looking for something that will encourage their faith and reinforce God's love for them.

To go to Sarah's website, just click on the book image. I've linked it to her current podcast, but do explore the site while you're there!

Frozen, And Now Alive

The front of this month's issue of World Magazine took my breath away. A picture of a newborn baby with the caption: A 25-year-old Baby. The subheading reads, Meet Emma Wren Gibson, frozen as an embryo in 1992, born on November 25, 2017. 

I don't really know the biblical implications of how life is now being engineered and produced, but I offer the link to you for your own perusal and contemplation. It's certainly food for thought.

Click on the image to go to the article entitled "Hope for the Unchosen" in World Magazine.

Image via pixabay

CCO Creative Commons

Training Children to Love One Another

For the past couple of weeks in our Sunday School class, we had been talking about principles of parenting from the book of Proverbs and pulling a few points out of the book Wise Parenting Principles by Chris Cutshall. He has 40 principles, but we discussed only ten of them. One of those principles was 'Wise parents train their children to love one another.' 

God established the family as the foundational community for teaching and training, as we know from Deuteronomy 4:6-7--And these words, which I am commanding you today shall be on your heart and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. 
  
Learning to love and care about one another in the home is the training ground for all of the "one anothers" that we find in the Scriptures. But since we were working from the book of Proverbs, let me list just a few of the verses I found there that can help our children learn to love one another in our homes.

· We stand by one another when times get tough.
Proverbs 17:17—A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

· We do good to one another.

Proverbs 3:27—Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.

· We do not pick on each other or bicker with one another.

Proverbs 3:29-30—Do not contend with a man for no reason, when he has done you no harm. Do not devise harm against your neighbor, while he lives insecurity beside you.

· We do not tattle on one another just to cause trouble.

Proverbs 24:28—Do not be a witness against your neighbor without cause, and do not deceive with your lips.

· We are honorable and do not quarrel.
Proverbs 20:3—Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man, but any fool will quarrel.

· We do not tease or trick or deceive one another and call it joking. 
Proverbs 26:18-19—Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows and death, so is the man who deceives his neighbor, and says, “I am only joking.”

· We are kind and truthful to one another. 
Proverbs 3:3—Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck; Write them on the tablet of your heart.

Too often children grow up not liking or loving one another. Much is lost when that is true. A book I would recommend is Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends by the Mally siblings. I posted about it here, if you'd like to read a little about it. The siblings, ages 22, 17, and 12 wrote how each of them viewed different situations and how they came to appreciate each other's perspectives.
 
The Proverbs are wonderful for teaching wisdom principles to our children. Another book I'd recommend is Proverbs for Parenting: A Topical Guide for Child Raising from the Book of Proverbs by Barbara Decker. She organizes many of the Proverbs into categories that can be used for memory work or referencing as we train our children and grandchildren. The book is currently out of print but can be found from used book dealers.

Painting ~ A Critical Moment, Harry Brooker 1848-1940

Wikimedia Commons public domain

Cheering Them On

I've been thinking throughout the day about yesterday's Sunday School discussion on parenting, and how important Titus 2 relationships are for Christian women. I think there are blessings on both sides. I'm thankful for women who came alongside me when My Beloved and I began our little family many years ago. I was blessed to have women who cared enough to guide me through those days when I was rather clueless.

My Beloved and I went to lunch yesterday with some young friends and five of their six children. So well-disciplined and a joy to be around. And there are more families like them, too. I'm so very encouraged as I listen to some of the young moms I know talk about training their children and reaching them with the gospel of Jesus Christ. This seems to be a generation of Christian parents who are serious about what they're doing. I think there is hope for America in the upcoming generation. At least there is hope for these children.

Yes, days can sometimes be hard, with or without children. Toil and trouble seem to find us whatever season we're in. But then there are the sweet hugs and kisses that melt the heart when children are around. I miss those days, and it brings a smile when I see these young families loving on each other. I want to cheer them on, and remind them that time with children is short. Even though the days can seem ever-so-long, and bedtime is ever-so-welcomed.

Painting ~ A Helping Hand, Eugene de Blass, 1884

Wiki Art, public domain

Evil Beyond Words

Jesus Wept

The horrific deaths of those whose lives are taken only because they are there causes us to ask, how can anybody be so entirely and completely mastered by such evil and wickedness as to kill and maim the innocent, especially children? And who would we ask, except God? I don't know if even the wicked perpetrators themselves would know.

This past Sunday's attack on the church family in the little town in Texas is almost beyond belief as to the heinousness that burst from the heart of the killer. I cannot wrap my mind around such evil to understand it. I cannot find the words to describe it. I read an article yesterday, though, by Janie Cheaney at World Magazine titled "The Terror of the Void" that gave me a little understanding. She was discussing the previous shooting in Las Vegas, and her thoughts could apply to any such violence as we've seen this past week.

She talked about evil being the absence of good. There is a void in our hearts that only God can fill with Himself and His goodness. When the heart has no goodness in it, that void is evil. Not filled with evil, but evil itself. God is the creator of all things, and goodness is from Him, but He did not create evil. Evil is the absence of God's good. It is that void without the goodness of God.

Janie Cheaney explains it so well, that I leave you with a link to her article. You can find it here. It helped me to understand a little more, even though it's still hard to imagine a person's heart so void of any goodness whatsoever that he could look at a baby's sweet face, see the innocence in the eyes, and continue his dastardly, cowardly, wicked, evil deed.

I've been thinking, how do we discuss this evil deed, or any evil, with our children and our grandchildren?  How do we help them process what has taken place? I will ponder it more, I'm sure, but I think we need to help them understand that the absence of God and His goodness in our hearts leaves the void, the evil. And evil becomes the master. The more we love God and His ways, the more our hearts are filled with His goodness. And He becomes our master.

All I know is to pray for those who mourn and weep, and to ask for God's grace and mercy to comfort and console, that they will know Father God in a way that they have not experienced before. I pray that He will strengthen them in their spirit, in their physical being, in their hearts and minds. Only He can do any of that. He is Goodness. God is great and God is good.

Painting ~ Jesus Wept, James Tippot (1836-1902)

Wikipedia, public domain

Thankful Thursday ~ For Biblical Authors

I'm thankful for people that God has gifted with an understanding of His Word and how to bring it to bear with the issues of life. I'm thankful for their ability to write with a gospel orientation as they share their insights and knowledge through the written word.

I've been doing some reading about parenting and wishing we had some of these books when our own children were growing up.  But it's never too late to learn good principles about training children and touching their hearts for eternity, to be a positive influence on  grandchildren and an encouragement to them in their faith.

One of the books I'm reading is Wise Parenting Principles From Proverbs by Chris Cutshall. The author categorizes the Proverbs into 40 principles for training children.

Wise Parenting Principles 1-5 ~ A Teachable Spirit
Wise Parenting Principles 6-10 ~ The Way of Wisdom
Wise Parenting Principles 11-15 ~ Arrows in the Hand
Wise Parenting Principles 16-20 ~ Strong Parent Leaders
Wise Parenting Principles 21-25 ~ The Small Window of Opportunity
Wise Parenting Principles 26-30 ~ The Treasure That You Seek
Wise Parenting Principles 31-35 ~ Stay on Mission
Wise Parenting Principles 36-40 ~ No Regrets

 Going to pass this book along to my daughter when I'm finished. 

Finding the Way to Your Child's Heart

from J.C.Ryle:

Train up your child with all tenderness, affection, and patience. 

I do not mean that you are to spoil him, 

but I do mean that you should let him see that you love him. 

Love should be the silver thread that runs through all your conduct. 

Kindness

Gentleness

Long-suffering

Patience

Forbearance

Sympathy

A willingness to enter into childish troubles

A readiness to take part in childish joys

These are the cords by which a child may be led most easily.

These are the clues you must follow.

If you would find the way to his heart.

~ J.C. Ryle,  from The Duties of Parents

1888

Painting ~ Mother and Daughters Playing Chess, Francis Coates Jones (1857-1932)

Wiki Gallery, public domain
(It looks like checkers to me, but enjoyment nevertheless)

But God...

Goose Girl, Seymour Joseph Guy 1824-1910

A young friend and I were talking yesterday about the joys and challenges of parenting. She's one of those I've mentioned who finds joy in telling the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord.  I've heard some mothers say that they don't like their children, and they'll be glad when they grow up and move out. That's a sad condition to be in, but I think most of us truly want what's best for our children. I know that there were times, though, when I fell into default mode of self, times when I didn't make good choices, or I simply didn't know what the better path was. But God does know the pathway. He laid it out.

"But God." That's the truth my friend and I rejoiced in as we talked about His faithfulness in our uncertainties or weakness, that in Him we aren't stuck with just what we ourselves know or can do. I came across that phrase again in my Bible reading today. But God, being rich in His mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us ... (Eph.2:4).

And who knows better how life is to be lived than the creator of life?! He is rich in mercy to redeem us from ourselves, from our mistakes, from our weaknesses. Why does He want to do that? Because of His great love with which He loved us. Awesome, isn't it?!

I know that I love my children and my grandchildren far beyond anything I could have ever imagined before they came along. If you're a mother or grandmother, you probably feel the same. Our love isn't perfect, though, but God's love is. So I prayed that God would give wisdom to train up my children in the [path]way they should go, and I now pray the same for my grandchildren. We don't see them often, but when they are with us, we want to be wise as we're entrusted with their care. I pray, too, that God would fill their parents with His wisdom as they live in a city that this day marks the 500th homicide in a little over 8 months. Much wisdom is needed.

For the Lord gives wisdom, out of His mouth come knowledge and understanding. He stores up sound wisdom for the upright. He is a shield to those who walk in integrity. 

Proverbs 2:6-7

I do hope, dear one, that you are intimately acquainted with the giver of life. What a privilege and benefit to be able to seek His wisdom as we do this thing called parenting and grandparenting!

As Families Must Do

I mentioned the book, The Farmer's Wife Sampler Quilt: Letters from 1920s Farm Wives and the 111 Blocks They Inspired sometime last year. I picked it up again today as it caught my eye in my sewing room. I'm not a farmer's wife, but I have a dear friend who is, and she had sent me the book, knowing I like to quilt. She loves being a farmer's wife, and whenever I see it, I think of her. It includes letters from women who share the good things they experience about being a farmer's wife.

I think many of us share the same sentiments in regard to our own homes and desires for our children, be it on the farm or in the neighborhood. Sharing a brief excerpt with you today. I do have modern conveniences, but I still relate to this thought. I think you might as well. If you'd like to know more about the book, just click on the image.

We live in one of those much-talked-about homes where folks do not have all the modern conveniences but we do have good books, good music and a wealth of flowers and growing things about us. Above all else, we live together, working and playing and planning together, as families must do, if the love and unity of that family are to become an inspiration to its members and to the community in which they live. 

~C. McD. B., Marion County, Indiana in The Farmer's Wife Sampler Quilt: Letters from 1920s Farm Wives and the 111 Blocks They Inspired

Rescue Your Children

Do you know what or who your children worship? They probably don't. Do you know what or who rules their hearts? My guess is, they don't. Do you know why they do what they do? They don't know this either. But do you?

We are given glimpses all the day long of what rules our children's hearts. Do you see it? Do you hear it? We are given opportunities from sun-up to sun-down to help them see themselves. To help them understand why they do what they do. To affirm them or to help them know how to change. Heart change. We have myriad of opportunities to encourage them or to rescue them from themselves.

Do you see your parent-role as an encourager? A rescuer? Or are those opportunities ones of irritation, annoyance, aggravation? Anger? Do you know why you react the way you do? Do you know who or what rules your own heart?

Most of us worship ourselves. Worship? Yes. Who do we want to please most of all? Who is at the center of our lives? What do we put the most effort into and why? If we respond in irritation, it's because we don't want to be bothered by whatever is going on. We respond in anger because we've dealt with this or that over and over again, and they keep at it. They keep at it because there hasn't been a heart change. And we respond in like kind... because there hasn't been a heart change in us either.

We can make a rules list for our home. Say please and thank you. Use indoor voices. Don't hang "Do Not Enter" signs on your bedroom door. Don't stare at your sister. No arguing. I said to my girls one day when they were growing up, "If you can't get along with each other, then just separate and go to your rooms!" All of a sudden, I actually heard what I had said. I was setting the stage for separation and divorce! I was not teaching them how to deal with disagreements. I was not reaching their hearts the way they needed me to do. I was simply laying down the law because I was aggravated that they were arguing. I'm so thankful that the Holy Spirit opened my ears to hear that day.

Rules don't make for heart change. Rules might keep things quieter when they know I'm listening. But that won't carry them into an honorable, satisfying marriage relationship. Helping them to understand that they're arguing because each of them wants what each of them wants, not what's in the best interest of the other person, is what will help them change. That's reaching into the heart.

That's the rescuing role of a parent. It takes time, though. And it takes their own willingness to take ownership of what's going on inside themselves. We cannot force the change, but we can offer the rescue. Offer the rescue, time and time again. Encourage and affirm, time and time again. What a wonderful privilege to work alongside the Holy Spirit as God calls our children to Himself! Implore Him for wisdom.... and patience.

Painting ~ Hush A Bye, George Goodwin Kilburne 1839-1924